Sunday, July 23, 2023

Meet the Khadkas

It has now been about 6 weeks of pre-service training and I have gotten to know and love the members of the Khadka household. Without further ado, allow me to introduce them.

 

Buwaa and Aamaa Khadka sheltering from the rain on the steps of their old family home.


Mother Khadka, Aamaa

Although Aamaa Khadka (age 48) is the most reserved family member that I've met thus far, she has a grounded and practical presence that is softened by the depth of her attention and care. She is extremely mom. And very endearing. She makes sure I wash my hands before eating, that I move my phone away from the edge of the table so that it doesn’t fall and break, that I carry an umbrella with me when I go out, and complains when I don’t eat enough (which is, apparently, every day).

Her daily work, like most village Nepalis’, is grueling and relentless. A typical day for her is: waking up, making morning tea/snacks, heating and feeding our cow hot water in her shed, milking her, feeding the calf and then delivering the milk to the dairy’s pick-up spot, washing laundry, giving the dog a pee break, cooking lunch around 10am for the family, leaving to work in the fields after, returning in the afternoon to feed the cow and calf their grain, leaving again to cut and bring back grass for them, preparing and cooking dinner, bringing the dog in, and catching up with family members in the evening if there’s time. On top of this, she works as a community health volunteer and bears many responsibilities on behalf of neighboring villages. She regularly receives training and conducts meetings and visits to households to spread the good word of healthcare, nutrition, and related programming. At our permanent sites, all of us volunteers will be working with health volunteers like her in their continuous efforts to support the wellbeing of their communities. She has my deepest respect and love.

My favorite times with Aamaa are when we sit on the balcony together and have some quiet time. I often sit at the table to study, and she will sit with me making candle wicks or preparing dinner vegetables.


Aamaa (left) and her friends heading to the temple to pray for the first day of Saun. Nepali wear yellow and green this month to pay homage to the Hindu god Shiva.


Aamaa cutting grass for the cow and calf. Beside her is a traditional Nepali woven basket (dhoko) that is worn on the back.

 

Father Khadka, Buwaa

Buwaa Khadka (age 49) is a bright and goofy spirit. Above all, he loves to play: he always cracks jokes and messes with people, which keeps the family young.

Buwaa works in the service industry in Kathmandu during the week and returns home for his weekends which is usually Friday afternoon and Saturday. These days he has been home more often. Since it is monsoon season, there are few tourists and work is slow. So, when he is home, he does a lot of the cooking, which is well-matched with Aamaa’s.

One day I asked him what he likes to do – he told me that likes to clean up around the house. True. If he isn’t teaching me new things about Nepali culture, he can be found vacuuming the floors or tidying up the garden. Often, at the dinner table he will look for new objects around the house to teach me. Last night, for example, we reviewed a bunch of traditional Nepali containers. After this, he enacted with me a Nepali marriage ceremony that involves one of the traditional water urns (koruwa), in which the bride pours a circle of water around the groom.

Sometimes on Friday evenings we’ll watch YouTube together. So far we have watched a Nepali video of a tour of my permanent site; a compilation of footage from a Nepali wedding; and a visual walking tour of a mountain village in the Swiss mountains. I'm sure I’ll be able to add more to that list soon.

 

Buwaa and the household's calf.

 

Buwaa Khadka mowing the lawn. “We don’t have big machines to cut the grass with.” He said with a laugh, “we have hand-machines.”

 

 

Grandmother Khadka, Haajuraamaa

Hajuuraama Khadka is an independent force: bold and curious. I love her sense of humor (today she showed me with pride how well and loudly she can burp at will. I was crying from laughter). She is also very determined despite her 82 years and regularly takes the bus by herself to the nearest town for errands and prayer. When she’s home, she socializes with friends, neighbors and family.

Walnuts, almonds and dried fruit are her snacks of choice and it’s a rare day when she doesn’t have them out to share. We spend a lot of time together on the patio chatting. She is very patient with me and understands how to break things down when I don’t understand her (which is often). If that fails, she says things loudly, and I just repeat what she says back to her loudly, and then we laugh.

Sometimes we sit together and go through some Nepali basics: numbers 1 to 100, for example; another time she showed me the different months and days of the Nepali calendar. I had arrived only a few weeks earlier and my language skills were limited, and she flipped through calendar pages month by month and told me their names and days. We share a lot of laughs, and these simple moments fill me with gratitude.

 

One of Haajuraamaa’s selfies that she took of us. It’s pretty great.


Haajuraamaa and her harpin, which she pulled out to show me one day. She can't play it very well, but she has a great time nonetheless.


Khadka Brothers, Bhaiharu

I also have two younger host brothers, Sulan (age 24) and Milan (age 21) who work out of the house. They are both friendly and sweet, and great cooks. Milan lives in Australia and attends a technical school there studying the culinary arts – I’ve only been able to video chat with him a few times when he calls the house. The other, Sulan, lives in Kathmandu and comes around roughly once every week or two weeks.

Sulan recently acquired a visa to study in Canada and became engaged. The wedding will be late November and we are all very excited for his new life with his fiancée. Fingers super crossed that I will be able to attend in the midst of some Peace Corps training scheduling!


My oldest brother, Sulan, cooking in the kitchen with buwaa during a quick visit to the house.

2 comments:

  1. Lovely family. 😍

    ReplyDelete
  2. you really get a great sense of these people and their surroundings

    ReplyDelete

Leopards, Tigers and Bears! (Okay, maybe not...)

Nepal is known for its abundant biodiversity*. For being a small country the size of 6 Rhode Islands it spans an elevation range of almost z...